Gay People Should NOT Worry Too Much About California Proposition 8
Posted by Flap in Gay Marriage
“I don’t want to be married. I’m very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they should have a civil partnership,†said Elton John, who cemented his relationship with David Furnish in 2005. “The word marriage, I think, puts a lot of people off. â€
Gay marriage is being presented by many gay people and liberals on both sides of the Atlantic as the touchstone of gay equality. Settling for anything less is a form of Jim Crow style gay segregation and second-class citizenship.
But not all gay people agree. This one sees gay marriage so much as a touchstone as a fetish. A largely symbolic and emotional issue that in the US threatens to undermine real, non-symbolic same-sex couple protection: civil unions bestow in effect the same legal status as marriage in several US states – including California. As a result of the religious right’s mobilisation against gay marriage, civil unions have been rolled back in several US states.
Living as I do in the UK, where civil partnerships have been nationally recognised since 2004, perhaps I shouldn’t carp. But part of the reason that civil partnerships were successfully introduced here was because they are not “marriages”. At this point I’d like to hide behind the formidable figure of Sir Elton John, who also expressed doubts recently about the fixation of US gay campaigners on “gay marriage”, and declared he was happy to be in a civil partnership with the American David Furnish and did not want to get married.
Amidst all the gay gnashing of teeth about the inequality of Proposition 8, it’s worth asking: when did marriage have anything to do with equality? Respectability, certainly. Normality, possibly. Stability, hopefully. Very hopefully. But equality?
First of all, there’s something gay people and their friends need to admit to the world: gay and straight long-term relationships are generally not the same. How many heterosexual marriages are open, for example? In my experience, many if not most long term male-male relationships are very open indeed. Similarly, sex is not quite so likely to be turned into reproduction when your genitals are the same shape. Yes, some gay couples may want to have children, by adoption or other means, and that’s fine and dandy of course, but children are not a consequence of gay conjugation. Which has always been part of the appeal for some.
More fundamentally who is the “man” and who is the “wife” in a gay marriage? Unlike cross-sex couples, same-sex partnerships are partnerships between nominal equals without any biologically, divinely or even culturally determined reproductive/domestic roles. Who is to be “given away”? Or as Elton John, put it: “I don’t wanna be anyone’s wife”.
The homosexual community is hurting themselve with ordinary California voters with their insistence of redefining marriage – “whether you like it or not.”
The American voters have spoken loudly with thirty states now banning gay marriage and several having reversed civil unions.
In California when the California Supreme Court likely upholds Proposition 8, the gay community will have to decide whether they wish to force another election in 2010 (which they will lose) or change direction for more gay equality with civil unions in other states (California already has domestic partnerships which confer all of the legal rights of marriage).
Exit question: Will the gay marriage rage against Proposition 8 be redirected or will it be all consuming?
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