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Maisa, my Palestinian friend: I think you should demonstrate your commitment to Peace-loving “Islam-with-A-Sense-of-Humor” and get a nice t-shirt from us that says “Fundamentalist Muslims Get So Mad They Blow Up” or “Islam is a Blast” . This would show solidarity with peace loving peoples everywhere, especially Danes.

We certainly know what we do. Though lots of us are, for sure, crazy people. Lots of you guys too! It’s one of the pleasures of being human.

Don’t worry though. We’re not really talking to Allah (Peace be unto him or for sure we’re all gonna get it) or even mainstream Islam (excepting those who allow harm through inaction). We’re talking to his crazed, scummy fanatic followers who think that WE, the peoples of Europe and North America, the people who invented computers, cars, machineguns, pharmaceuticals, industry–basically everything–ought to throw away our handy-dandy belief in Free Speech and submit to his sword because He Should Not Be Made Fun Of.

Oh please.

This is like a six-year old bully on a playground. Lucky for us, there are lots of Boy Scouts in the Western World. Mohammed will stay in high forever, OK, and in your heart–great! Faith is just ducky. But he WON’T dictate down here, because it’s a secular world and we’re all a lot happier that way. Got MTV and everything.

Allah can go f**k himself, (Also a t-shirt) for taking all these folks who might otherwise have been decent bridge partners and convincing them that hacking off hands is a substantive and desirable way to govern.

Our best t, and the one I think that describes the plight we all face: “My other boyfriend is a Danish cartoonist.” Speak freely! Who knows, Maisa–regardless of your gender–you might even want to have a Danish boyfriend someday. You should get one and impress him.

One day a tsunami will strike us!??? Isn’t it amazing that the last tsunami killed thousands of muslims! Maybe that should be taken as a hint from allah that you are doing something wrong. If you firmly believe that god will get his revenge on us then you should relax and let that fate befall us… why would you feel it necessary to punish us yourselves; it seems to suggest that you doubt his ability to get his revenge. That’s blasphemy, and I think you will be punished for your lack of faith. As for the tsunami… I’ll be waiting, but I think that you middle-eastern nutballs are more likely to blow each other up with your hate than we are to drown in any water. We’ll see. My guess is that Israel will end up nuking the crap out of the whole area. Good riddance.